Today’s Inspiring Bible Quote

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4 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married

I had no idea what I was getting into when I married my husband seven years ago at the young age of 21. I had grown up watching my parents hold hands and dance in the kitchen, and I rarely ever saw them argue. I read books about being a Godly woman and felt confident I had what it took to be a great wife. (How naïve and proud was I?) I thought I was prepared… but boy, was I wrong!

I didn’t realize how much pressure I was putting on myself and on my husband to be perfect for one another. I wish it hadn’t taken painful conversations and times of heartache for me to accept the following:

1. I am prideful and selfish.

I didn’t realize this about myself at the time, but I went into marriage expecting to be treated like a princess. I felt hurt, angry and let down when my husband would have a cranky attitude or wouldn’t read my mind about doing the dishes. I thought, if he loved me, he would know to do ____ or say ____. I viewed his lack of taking me on dates as a lack of love and interest. I became jealous of the time he spent with friends.

Instead of believing the best in my spouse, I made everything about me. I allowed myself to think he was failing me, but in reality I was failing him. Thankfully, a wise friend lovingly challenged me to stop focusing on what I felt were my husband’s shortcomings and instead focus on my own heart and actions. I was ashamed to realize how prideful and selfish I was being!

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” —Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV)

Something beautiful happened when I shifted from asking God to change my husband to asking God to change me. Not only did I grow in my understanding of what it looks like to serve and obey Christ, but I also had a better attitude when it came to serving my husband (regardless of whether or not I felt served back). And SHOCKER — my husband and I both enjoyed our relationship much more when I stopped nitpicking every little thing that I wanted to change!

Do you show grace and gratitude to your spouse, or only focus on what you think he’s doing wrong? How could you better love your spouse?
2. Your spouse should not and cannot be your source of happiness and identity.

As a newlywed, I often took it personally when my husband would come home from work and want alone time instead of time together, or if he was in a bad mood, or if he didn’t want to do something that I wanted to do. I thought, he must not be happy with ME. He must not want to do things with ME. I wondered that if I was prettier, or a better cook, or knew more about sports, maybe then I would be “the perfect wife.” I would thrive under his compliments and tender love, but I would easily deflate if he didn’t notice a new top or forgot to thank me for making dinner.

I wish I could say it didn’t take long for me to change my way of thinking, but it wasn’t until around year three or four of our marriage that it hit me — if I based my happiness on the words and actions of an imperfect person, I would always be disappointed!

I love these words from author and speaker Lysa TerKeurst: “When you aren’t depending on your husband to fill you up, then he can make mistakes and you are still okay. He can say the wrong thing and you can forgive him quickly. He can struggle and question his direction and you don’t fall into despair. He can be your partner and your friend, because he does not have to be your savior.”

As painful as it can be to have insecurities, arguments and unmet expectations, hardships in marriage can grow us closer to God. Though I am not perfect and my spouse is not perfect, our God is!

What do you think would happen in your marriage if you released your spouse from the impossible task of meeting your every need, and instead chose to lean on the Lord for joy, strength and security?
3. God calls me to show respect even when I don’t feel loved.

Oh man, do I ever struggle with this one! I knew respect was important to men before I got married, but I was unprepared for how hard it would be to show respect when I don’t feel it’s deserved. When Andy hurts my feelings, I’m tempted to say something hurtful in return. When he loses his temper, I often lose mine right back. It’s tempting to think that biting my tongue means he’ll be “getting away” with being unkind.

“Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” — 1 Peter 3:8b-9

I can trust God to sanctify my spouse. I can choose to respond to harsh words calmly and rationally. (Or, if my emotions are out of control, I can remove myself from the situation before I say something I will regret.)

Commit to responding with kind and neutralizing words the next time you feel an argument is about to happen. Trust that God sees your efforts and will bless you for honoring Him.
4. Marriage takes work, but the work yields rewards!

Married couples often seem to either describe marriage as being the most fun ever or being a lot of work. Thinking of marriage as work sounds bad, as though something about the relationship must be going wrong. Yet consider this: do you put effort into your friendships? Do you try to celebrate your friend when she gets a promotion or show extra grace to a friend when you know she’s going through a hard time? Do you ever feel frustrated or let down by a friend, but you choose to not give up on them? It’s the same way with marriage.

Most days, loving Andy and being his wife is easy and fun and a joy. He makes me laugh harder than anyone else, I find him incredibly attractive and he is a hard worker and fantastic provider. Some days, though, I feel disconnected from him. Sometimes conversations turn into arguments, or misunderstandings leave me hurt and frustrated. But the work of choosing to believe the best, choosing to suffer long and choosing to extend grace and kindness yields beautiful results. It may take weeks, months or even years to see growth in your marriage, but you can trust that God is at work in both of your hearts.

Thank God for being faithful to work in us and trust that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” (Philippians 1:6b) 

[written by Laura Rennie, who loves sharing Jesus through his word]

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5 Life Saving Facts You Should Know

Life sometimes throws sudden and unexpected situations at us, therefore, it’s important to have some basic knowledge at hand to help deal with these situations. 

Jumia Travel shares 5 life saving facts you should know.

The Limits of the Human Body Tend to Follow a “Rule of 3” 
This means people can generally go three minutes without air, three hours without shelter in extreme weather conditions, three days without water and three weeks without food. However, this can change from person to person depending on one’s body. Nevertheless, it’s important to know these vital limits of the human body because you never know when you might need it.

If Cooking Oil Catches Fire, Turn off The Burner and Cover the Pot 
Never be so careless with cooking oil that it reaches the point of catching fire, nevertheless if it does happen, you shouldn’t use water to put off grease fires. The water molecules will sink to the bottom of the hot pan, evaporate instantly and shoot the flames even higher. Therefore, the best way to put out an oil fire is cut the heat (by turning off the burner) and taking away the oxygen (by covering the pot).

If You Get Hurt in a Public Place, Single Out One Person For Help This is to avoid the by-stander effect, which is a psychological phenomenon in which crowds of people fail to help somebody because they think someone else will intervene. Therefore, if you ever get hurt in public and can call out for help, pick one person (many times, this will be the nearest person) and direct your immediate pleas to them. If you can’t speak, then approach the person and try to let him/her see where you are hurt so they know something is wrong with you. You’ll be more likely to get the help you need.

To Save a Person From Electrocution, Hit the Person With a Big Stick 
This might sound funny, but if you see someone else being electrocuted and you’re unable to shut off the source of electricity, try hitting the person hard with a non-conductive object, like a big stick. This can help prevent the person from being fatally electrocuted. The firm whack that you gave the person with the stick can help break the circuit of electricity, and help protect you from being electrocuted in your attempt to save the person

Never Use Water Alone to Put Out an Electrical Fire 
This is because water conducts electricity and you can be badly shocked in the process. Try to first cut off the electricity supply to whatever it is that is on fire and use a class C fire extinguisher to help put out the fire or at least keep it under control before the emergency response team arrives. This is why you must always have a functional fire extinguisher in your home. Considering how useful a fire extinguisher will be to you in the event of a fire, you should never forfeit having this item in your home for any reason whatsoever.

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Couple declared wanted for absconding with company’s N5m

A man identified as Mr. Celestine Chikeie Ogazie and wife Mrss Anthonia (nee Fagbamigbe) have been declared wanted by the Nigeria Police Force after allegedly absconding with the sum of Five Million naira (N5,000,000.00) belonging to Berrymart Integrated Services which they worked for in Lagos… According to reports, the suspect conspired with his wife to commit the crime.

Here’s the official press statement;
MR. CELESTINE CHIKEZIE OGAZIE WANTED BY THE NIGERIA POLICE FORCE, OFFICE OF THE DEPUTY COMMISSIONER OF POLICE, STATE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION AND INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT (SCIID), PANTI, YABA, LAGOS.

The pictured and above named Person is hereby declared wanted by the Nigeria Police Force. A warrant of arrest has been duly obtained against this person.

He is wanted for the offence of Criminal Breach of Trust, Theft by Servant, Fraud and Joint Act committed between April and June 2017 at Port Harcourt.

The suspect being an employee of Berrymart Integrated Services in Lagos committed the offence through false representation and deceit. He absconded with the sum of Five Million naira (N5,000,000.00) belonging to the company.

He is Igbo by tribe and married to Mrs. Anthonia Fagbamigbe (Co-consiprator).

Places Frequented: Lagos, Aba, Onitsha, Port Harcourt.

If seen, please report to the nearest Police Station or SCIID Panti or call 08135002931, 08023052471

A handsome reward awaits any person(s) with information that leads to his arrest.

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Why "Small" Sins are So Dangerous

I am thirteen years old, sitting in a church pew with a friend and our youth pastor who has recently proposed to his girlfriend. My friend and I are gushing over the fairytale we imagine their romance to be. “Why don’t you have a ring, though?” my friend asks. I am horrified. Of course he doesn’t have a ring. That’s not how engagement works. How could she possibly ask such a silly question? What is wrong with her?

I am seventeen years old, riding in the back of a friend’s car. There are four of us together, maybe five. The details are vague now, where we are going, what we are doing, who has crushes on whom, but one feeling and one interaction are crystal clear. A friend casually, comfortably asks a question about something she does not understand, admitting her ignorance on an unimportant topic. My heart rate skyrockets. Doesn’t she know that not knowing is humiliating? Does she not feel the shift in the universe that I do when uncertainty is made public? What is wrong with her?

I am twenty-three years old, taking notes in a meeting at work. Afterwards, a co-worker comes over to my desk to talk to me about the discussion. She interprets something our boss had stated and I am shocked. I heard nothing of the sort. She turns out to be right, and I am internally knocked off-kilter. My sense of self-worth plummets; I am defensive and guarded for the rest of the day. How could I have sat in the same room and misunderstood the conversation? What is wrong with me?

It’s likely that none of these stories have led you to think, “Well, Abby, you were sinning. That’s what’s wrong with you.” After all, I was not actively intending to hurt anyone in any of these situations. In fact, in the first two, I wanted to protect my friends, or at least that’s what I told myself.

In reality, and in retrospect, I think sin had plenty to do with all three of these moments. Regardless of my desire or lack thereof to hurt anyone around me, my framework for thinking, for loving, and for being a friend was skewed. In the face of simple human curiosity, uncertainty, and even humility, I responded not with love, but with fear.

I so idolized the desire to learn, to know, and to be informed, that I had given license to a host of ungodly things — things like fear over love in the context of friendships, arrogance instead of humility, refusing to take risks in the name of love and service because I could not manage the outcome.

We often think of sin as willful acts of disregard for God’s ways, but in Scripture, the word for sin merely means, “to miss the mark.” What are the moments in life that lead you to miss the mark of a life fixated on the Kingdom of God?

What might seem like small, harmless sins were actually the products of deeply rooted idolatry and pride in my life. In each of us, our “small” sins are dangerous precisely because we don’t recognize that they are symptoms of deeper sins.

When I prioritize knowledge, or the appearance of having knowledge, over being teachable or encouraging of others, I am missing the mark of the kingdom’s call to admitting the frailty of my humanity. When someone who is continually focused on the needs of others gives and sacrifices in such a way that she becomes prideful about it, she is missing the mark of the kingdom’s call to humility. When someone who desires to bring about safety and comfort for her family that she forgoes giving to others, she is missing the mark of the kingdom’s call to generosity.

As disheartening as all of this may seem, let us not forget that we have a good God who refuses to leave us stuck in our sin. By the shed blood, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ, we are made righteous, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit calls us ever more away from our sinful tendencies. And as beautiful as all of that is, God’s goodness in the face of our lack does not stop there. So very often, what our sin nature means for evil, He directly uses for good.

Slowly, He is teaching me that knowledge is not meant to be my idol. Rather, it is meant to be one of my gifts. I do not need to hoard it, but rather steward it well and offer it freely to others, and be at ease when I am unsure. If you are prone to prioritizing the needs of others to the point of pride or bitterness, consider that He may have prepared you for the good works of helping, serving, and hospitality. Let the drive to help others be ushered through you by the Holy Spirit, and let yourself come to the One Who gives rest when you are weary and heavy-laden. If you find yourself fixated on safety and comfort for yourself or your family, ask God to show you how your desire not to see harm befall those made in His image can be offered as a gift for the benefit of others whose lives are less comfortable, less safe.

God’s grace covers sin that we do not realize is sin, tendencies that we think of as quirks or traits or “just who I am.” In His kindness, let Him reveal to you what you coddle in your heart like I did in the church pew, in the backseat of the car, in the meeting at work. And as you join Him in seeking its loosened grip on your life, watch for the ways He trades the beauty of gifts for the ashes of sin.

[written by Abby Perry, a passionate writer who lives with her family in Texas.]

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64yrs Old Grandma Sentenced to 25 Years in Lagos for Drug Trafficking

A Federal High Court in Lagos has sentenced 64yr old Odeyemi Omolola, who is charged before the court alongside a Lagos socialite, Mrs. Funmilola Ogbuaya, to 25 years imprisonment, for attempting to export 1.595kg of cocaine to Saudi Arabia.

Trial judge, Justice Hadizat Rabiu-Shagari sentenced the convict, who is also known as Ariyo Monsurat Olabisi, after she changed her plea in an amended five counts of the charge.

She was arraigned on three counts charge of conspiracy, unlawful possession of banned drug, and attempt to export the said banned drug to Saudi Arabia.

The Lagos socialite, Ariket, is facing charges bordering on conspiracy, aiding and abetting and procuring of the said banned drug for the convict. The two accused persons had pleaded not guilty when they were both arraigned before the court, sometimes in May, this year.

However, at the resumed trial of the two accused persons yesterday, the convict, Omolara, through her lawyer, Mr. King Wilson, informed the court of her intention to change her plea, particularly, on count four of the charge, which bothered on attempt to export 1.595kg of Cocaine to Saudi Arabia.

Her request was granted by Justice Rabiu-Shagari, who ordered the charge be read to her again. Upon the re-read of the charge, the convict pleaded guilty. Justice Rabiu-Shagari consequently sentenced her to 25 years imprisonment, starting from when she was first arrested.

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5 Things To Consider Before A Business Investment

There are a number of important factors to consider before a business investment, to protect your resources from the sometimes uncertain elements of an investment environment.

Jumia Travel shares 5 things to consider before a business investment.

The Business This is an obvious one. An investor needs to understand the business in which he/she is investing. Like Peter Lynch’s investment maxim says ‘Invest in what you know’. It will be difficult to be cheated in an investment, if you understand the rubrics of that business. Before investing in a business, study the business; the more you understand the business, the more confident you’ll feel about the investment. Additionally, talking to an expert – someone who knows the industry that interests you – can also help.

The Growth 
In addition to understanding the business, it’s important to understand the growth of a business. Consider how the venture is growing – is its growth organic or does it have more of a buying growth? Also, consider how the company will grow. To help with this, an investor will need to dig into the key financial statements of the venture like the balance sheets, income statements and cash-flow statements.

The Exit Strategy 
Understand and know the exit scenarios for the industry that will be best for you. As a responsible investor, it’s best to always be prepared and have an exit plan laid out either for when the venture reaches the ideal scale intended or when the venture doesn’t seem to be yielding the returns you expected. Either way, always have an exit strategy of some kind for every business investment.

Legal Counsel 
A good number of investors overlook this very important factor, and end up running from pillar to post seeking legal counsel when things go wrong. Be sure to seek legal counsel on all crucial steps of the investment and be sure that every legal document associated with the investment is shown to a trusted lawyer for feedback. Prevention will always be better than cure, and in legal matters, ignorance or oversights is not an excuse. So avoid the avoidable by seeking legal counsel; you don’t have to agree with all your lawyer’s points, but you should at least understand them and make your decision based on that understanding.

Your Comfort Zone on Risk Taking 
All investments have some form of risk associated with it, so it’s therefore important to understand the risks of a business investment and first decide if the risks are what you can bear. If you can’t bear the worst case scenario and have no plan B to help deal with the worst case scenario, then it’s advisable to refrain from such investment. You must always consider your propensity for risk before putting your resources in a business investment.

Circumstances that Can Lead to Fraud 
This is one of the most important factors on this list. There are a lot of scam artists out there looking to lure potential investors into their trap by making their ‘opportunity’ sound legitimate. But there is a limit to how well they can do this, and if you’re careful and vigilant enough you’ll be able to see through their facade. As a responsible investor, ensure you do your research well beforehand, ask questions and check out the answers with unbiased sources before you invest. Also, never rush into an investment. In fact, any investment that puts pressure on you or tries to rush you into it, is a fishy one. You should tread carefully. Always take your time and talk to trusted family and friends before investing. Never for any reason rush into an investment, regardless of the pressure.

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Motivating Bible Quote For Today

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Ex-Girlfriend Hired Assassins To Kill Nigeria Blogger… police finally arrest killers

Official press statement by the Nigeria Police Force, Bauchi State Command:

It would be recalled that on the 12/3/2017 one Abdulhakeem Bauchin Bauchi was killed by unknown persons and his decomposing body was recovered three days after. However, on the 17/3/2017,Police detectives attached to Anti kidnapping unit of the Command arrested four suspects but the deceased vehicle was no where to be seen.

Furthermore, on the 27/6/2017 Police detectives successfully recovered the deceased Mercedes Benz 300 model at Edo State and arrested two additional suspects as follows,

1.Earnest Danladi ‘m’ aged 30 years of Pankshin LGA of Plateau State and,
2.Freedom Idom ‘m’ aged 35 years of Awen East LGA of Edo State.

Meanwhile, investigation also revealed that suspects were hired by one of the victim’s girl friend who felt betrayed following his intention to marry another woman.

Finally, efforts are being intensified to apprehend the Lady after which suspects would be charged to Court for prosecution, please.

SP Haruna Mohammed 

PPRO Bauchi Police Command.
For Commissioner of Police.

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6 Tricks For Getting Things Done Faster Without Sacrificing Quality

Getting focused and completing tasks in good time takes effort and discipline. However, there are a couple of tricks that can be employed to make this process a tad easier. 

Jumia Travel shares 6 tricks for getting things done faster without sacrificing quality.

Learn To Time Yourself Through Tasks 
Parkinson’s law, one of the most crucial concepts in business, states that ‘Work expands to fill the time allotted for it’. That is, if you leave the time allotted for the completion of a task open-ended, you will almost always take more time to complete it. Conversely, if you set a clear time frame for the completion of that task, you’ll work far more quickly. As an added bonus, not only will you end up completing your tasks faster, you’ll also feel happier about it too.

Pretend Your Day Ends At 11am According to Forbes, an average person has done virtually nothing of importance by 11am. They have either chatted away time with colleagues, checked emails, prepared breakfast or are still planning their day. If you are able to start your morning each day, believing your work ends 11am, you’ll be more conscious of what you do with those first few hours of your day and be able to fully maximize it. Create a small list of what you have to deal with, and immediately deal with those important tasks with the time consciousness that ending your day at 11am affords you.

Try To Do Unimportant Tasks Quickly 
To reach a high state of achievement, you can’t afford to carry out unimportant tasks within the same time as important tasks. God forbid you actually take a longer time working on unimportant tasks than on important ones. Be sure to get through unimportant tasks speedily and do them well enough that people won’t complain. It doesn’t have to perfect but you should do it well, after all they’re called ‘unimportant’ tasks not ‘useless’ tasks. Don’t give trivial tasks more time than they deserve, because the crucial ones might end up suffering; and the last thing you want is to make a mistake on a crucial task.

Do Your Most Unpleasant Tasks First 
This is based on the saying that the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is to eat the frog, and the day can only get better from then. It’s a funny saying but there is some truth in it. When you tackle the seemingly unpleasant and most difficult tasks first, you find that you actually get them done faster than if you procrastinated. Also, completing such tasks makes you feel more accomplished and your mood gets a boost, which motivates you to keep going. Please note that unpleasant doesn’t mean unimportant, the fact that a task is unpleasant doesn’t mean it’s unimportant.

Apply the Pareto Principle 
In other words, the 80/20 rule which states that most of our results comes from a small portion of our actual work. Find out which part of your work has the greatest results and focus more of your energy on getting that part of the work done.

Break Your Day Up With Breaks 
Taking a 2 to 5 minutes break after every 25 minutes of focused work can help increase your focus and keep your energized. This is called the Pomdoro Technique and it’s great for those whose minds tend to wander while reading or working on a lengthy projects. The break gives time away from the task at hand and affords an opportunity to momentarily enjoy distractions. The break also helps to re-energize the brain for a return to the activity. However, it’s important to be careful with this technique and remained discipline so as not to be carried away with the distraction.

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How To Recover When You Know You Messed Up

It’s no secret that we all mess up. Not one of us is above making mistakes, which means we all have, at one time or another, recovered from mistakes we’ve made. Intellectually, I know I can move forward even after I mess up, but so often I struggle to remember that moving forward from sin is actually possible for me (and you, and you, and all of us!).

God’s grace knows no bounds, which means that no sin (or sinner) is banned from grace. We can all pick up and move forward after messing up. Here are a few ideas for how to do just that:

1. Take a Breath 
Oftentimes, the one most disappointed in our mistakes is our own self. After messing up, it can be helpful to take a moment for yourself. The journey towards reconciliation, grace, and healing is not necessarily a downhill coast. It’s easy to beat ourselves up, so begin by doing something kind for yourself—take some deep breaths, go on a walk around the neighborhood, or drink a cool glass of water.

2. Acknowledge Your Mistake 
It is maddening to be around a person who has clearly done something wrong but cannot admit it. Recovering from our mistakes is going to be much easier if we can own what we’ve done from the start. Before we apologize to God, others, or ourselves, we should have a clear understanding of what we’re apologizing for. Where did things go wrong? What would you do differently? What was the impact of the choice you made? These reflections will better help us in repairing relationships and understanding how to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

3. Go Out of Your Way to Apologize 
How we apologize to those we hurt through our sin can greatly contribute to the health of our relationship with them in the future. Take this part seriously. Get in touch with the people who were impacted by your actions and ask if you can see them in person. If they agree, then you go to them; drive to their home or take them out for coffee and allow your apology to be a conversation, rather than a sentence you squeak out. I firmly believe the road to recovering from our sin is much smoother when we make a real effort to repair the affected relationships. Remember, too, that repentance to God is a necessary step in claiming freedom from our guilt. Speak with God about your sin and apologize to Him for the sin, knowing you are safe to share these things with Him.

4. Consume Grace 
Drink grace in like you would cold water on a hot day. Grace is limitless and without bias. If we are going to recover from any mistake—big or small—we have to wear grace like a robe. Step into its warmth and let it cover all parts of you. Receiving grace is what lifts the gate that stands between our sin and our freedom from the sin. Remember when you repented to God? He doesn’t respond to our sin or repentance with wrath—he responds with grace. Spend some time with God and allow yourself—with all of your imperfections and past mistakes—to see yourself as God sees you: through the lens of grace!

5. Shift Your Direction 
Now what? You’ve repented, apologized, consumed a hearty dose of grace—you’re moving now, away from your moment of sin. Where, though, will you go? You are free to go in any direction, but this is when you can choose to shift, even if ever so slightly, where you are going. If you tripped up on sin, you may want to consider inching your path over a bit. Maybe this requires a new hobby, new group of friends, or more a more active role in your community or church. Whatever changes you need, let this be a time when you implement them.

Grace is not a one-time offer; if (and when) you find you’ve messed up again, remember that you can recover! The process of recovering from your mistakes may not look exactly the same each time, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed with your sin, take this practical advice to orient you in how you can begin moving ahead after you’ve messed up.

[written by Mallory Redmond, a wife and mom]

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Photos Of Lawyer Hired By Kidnapper Evans

Arrested kidnap suspect, Chukwudumeme Onwuamadike (Evans), has sued the Inspector-General of Police, Ibrahim Idris, at the Federal High Court in Lagos over alleged violation of his fundamental rights. He is praying the court to compel the police authority to charge him to court rather than detaining him indefinitely.

In a fundamental rights enforcement suit filed by a Lagos-based lawyer, Olukoya Ogungbeje, the suspected kidnapper said his continued detention without trial was illegal.

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Why You Should Stop Pushing Your Kids to be Independent

Watch out moms and dads; we have been duped.

And as a culture we have savored and swallowed it. Together we have collectively digested the lie regarding the virtue of independence. We have bought into the philosophy that our kids must learn to be, strive to be…independent.

Independence surges through our veins, especially American. It speaks to our collective red, white, and blue blood. Independence is a freedom Americans fight for and a value they die for.

As a nation, freedom from tyranny and oppression is an inalienable human right; a pursuit worth the sacrifice our forefathers made. But we have taken that cherished belief and manipulated the ideology to fit the family system. Many parenting philosophies support this idea. They are easy to spot. Their focus is only on logical and natural consequences. When this practice is applied, we address the individual’s external behavior rather than shaping and molding the heart. Raising our kids to be independent misses the boat when it comes to grace and mercy, empathy and compassion.

Independence pushes relational intimacy aside.

Is raising your child to be independent a paradigm you really want to practice? I think not. Most of us want a relationship with our kids that lasts a lifetime, one in which we are woven together throughout our lives and not just for the 18 years of sharing the same living space.

I’m not talking about raising entitled, needy, codependent kids.

As a society, perhaps we have confused responsibility and independence.

Like you, I want my children to become responsible adults, to be people who can make a living and support themselves. But I don’t want them to be the Lone Ranger, and tackle the world independent of the family. I pray my children know they can come to me and their dad when they need a shoulder, an ear, or a hand (some really great advice).

No matter if they are in the littles stage or the adulting phase, I want them to know our family sticks together.

Two main lies fan the flames of the independent deception:

“God helps those who help themselves” and“God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”

These two principles are based on and fuel the independence lie. Neither of these two commonly uttered and sincerely believed statements are biblical.

With certainty, I can tell you I have had more than I can handle. Eighteen straight months of more than I can manage reverberates in my mind.

Here’s my list: January—my dad died; February—I was in a ski accident and blew out my ACL, a few days later my middle daughter, Samantha, separated the bones in her foot while going over the hurdles in track; March—the two of us had surgery; June—Murphy, the family labradoodle was bitten by a rattlesnake; August—Samantha and I both needed a second surgery; November, same kid, was in a snowboard accident and experienced a concussion; December—our little Shih Tzu, Bailey, died and in the same month, my son Jake and his college roommate were in a rollover car accident; January —Kendra, the youngest, ruptured her spleen in a near fatal snowboard accident; and in January we visited Urgent Care only hours after arriving home from the ICU because Samantha cut her hand and needed to be stitched up; March—Jake was diagnosed with irregular heartbeat. Three of our four kids went to the hospital in an ambulance in three consecutive months.

This was definitely more than my husband, Tom, and I could handle. We needed our family and friends. We depended on God.

We are not meant to be solo-souls.

God wants us to rely on him and encourage and support one another. We are beings created for relationship with one another and with our Heavenly Father.

“It’s your problem, you fix it,” may encourage personal responsibility but it reinforces the Lone Ranger mentality. Perhaps we don’t use those exact harsh words but I bet most of us have said, “You spilled. You clean it up.”

But… what if a response to a spill sounded more like this, “That’s okay. Everybody spills. I’ll help you clean it up.” The idea communicated is, “I’m here with you. Spills are no big deal. I spill too. I don’t go crazy when you spill.” The heart qualities of humility, empathy, self-control, and compassion are grown without obliterating the characteristic of responsibility. The underlying message is, “Our family is a grace-filled group of people who help each other out when life gets messy.”

When kiddos are older, the life spills are bigger. It may look like a forgotten homework assignment or, like in my home, a car accident. “The car can be fixed. I’m glad you are okay. Let’s figure this out together.”

It’s magic when a parent hears one sibling say to another, “That’s okay everybody spills. I’ll help you clean it up.” If we focus on independence, our family ties become frayed. By working through life spills and car wrecks together with an interdependent approach we knit our families closer.

I’m done falling for the independence lie. My goal isn’t to raise independent children.

My measure of success is to have responsible and caring kids who are able to rely on one another, ask for help and offer help when needed, and trust the Lord throughout their lives. I don’t want my young adults to become the Lone Ranger. I’m hoping they will be more like the all for one and one for all Musketeers.

Oh and by the way, all of us survived those 18 months because God was with us and so were his people.

“Be devoted to one another in love.” (Romans 12:10a)

[written by Lori Wildenberg, a lady passionate about encouraging and supporting parents]

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5 Hilarious Things Nigerians Who Loan Friends Money Can Relate With

It is very easy to borrow money. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem is just to pay back. Many people will tell you that you should only give out the amount you can forego. Regardless, even trusted and reliable friends sometimes refuse to pay back. Meanwhile, for those who borrow them this money, there are certain things that happen that they can relate with. 

Jumia Travel outline some of them.

I do not have money to pay 
Some of them can be ruthless and tell you point blank, that they do not have money to pay you. What will you do? You have two options- you have to forgo the money or be patient as patient as a dog.

Nigeria is even owing debts so who are you? 
According to the debt management office, Nigeria’s total debt profile is $57.39bn. Wow! That is huge. The debtor may even quote this for you when you demand your debt. They will tell you since Nigeria can owe debts, who are you that cannot be owed? Hopefully, it is an amount you can forgo.

I am on my way to the bank 
You call them, they say they will send the money to your account pretty soon. Hours later, you call them again, they tell you that they are on their way to the bank. They lie to cover up another lie. If you call them again, they may just say that there is no network at the bank.

They are never at home 
The typical debtor will never say that they are home unless they do not have shame. The only way you can get them is to pay them an early morning surprise visit.

They reign curses on you 
Sorry, some of the debtors can be nasty. They throw friendship to the wind and reign abuses on you. How much did you borrow me that you are disturbing my life? Their strategy is for both of you to become enemies so that you will stop calling them for your money.

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Motivating Quote For Today

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DON’T GIVE UP

Sometimes your walk with Christ can become difficult and leave you simply wanting to give up. However, our study in Galatians today encourages us to do the opposite. Now is the time to plant seeds of faith to see a fruitful harvest of peace, hope, and love tomorrow. We learn our harvest will come to reality under one condition: that we don’t give up.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your faithfulness. I ask for the strength and grace to keep going in the good works you have called me to. Please help me to stay positive, hopeful, and encouraged. I love You. In Jesus Christ Name I pray. Amen.

Read Today’s Message;

Last week we discussed the struggle between the desires of our flesh to sin and the desire of the Spirit to do God’s will. This is a constant struggle for the Christian, one that seems impossible at times, and one that will leave you wanting to give up…which is why as we start chapter 6 of our study in Galatians today, Paul gives us this encouragement:

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians‬ 6:7-9‬ (NIV‬‬)

If we endure and don’t give up, we will reap a harvest of the fruits of the Spirit we discussed last week. As we continue to walk in the Spirit, the fruits will be a guaranteed byproduct. But it’s still a struggle. We will want to give up because it’s so much easier to operate in the works of the flesh than to trust God for the fruits of the Spirit.

A few videos ago we talked about Abraham, who God promised would be the father of many nations. We learned it was his faith that lead to his righteousness. We also learned he had his moments of leaning on his own strength as well. But overall, he did not give up on trusting in God, and he had one son that, as God promised, lead to many nations. It was his faith that lead to his harvest.

Joseph was sold into slavery, lied on, overlooked, and thrown into jail. Yet he still stayed faithful to God. Eventually he rose to be second in command to Pharaoh over all of Egypt. His faithfulness lead to his harvest. Your faith is a seed that will produce a harvest in your life. Not just one fruit, but many fruits. Choosing faith over your flesh is the harder thing to do, but it always grants the greatest reward. But only when we don’t give up.

What are you trusting God for today, Beloved? Strength to stay pure, a positive attitude when you’re not feeling well, the good words to say when you really want to tell someone off? Integrity and honor when it’s easier to cut corners? Ultimately, we all have a choice today: to plant a seed of faith and trust God with what we can’t do, or lean on our own strength and place our confidence in our flesh. Only one leads to the harvest we desire. But we can rest assured that no matter how hard it is, we will see that harvest if we don’t give up.

Now I want to hear from you today, Beloved. Please comment and let me know: what can you trust God with today for a fruitful harvest tomorrow? I can’t wait to chat more about it in the comments!

If you enjoyed today’s message be sure to share it with a friend because you never know who might need some Beloved encouragement today. I post new encouragement every week so be sure join Beloved to have my weekly devotion “Hello Beloved!” delivered directly to your inbox. As always, thank you so much for reading and until next time be beautiful, be blessed

[written by Christina Patterson, a wife and mom who encourages woman in the love of Jesus]

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5 Helpful Tips For Juggling Work And Parenting

Juggling work and parenting might not exactly be the easiest thing to do, but there are a couple of things you can do to make it easier. 

Jumia Travel shares 5 tips for juggling work and parenting.

Involve Your Spouse 
Involving your spouse can be a great way to ease juggling work and parenting. If you don’t have a spouse, involve trusted close friend(s) or relative(s) who is (are) willing to be there for you. The fact is you can’t successfully juggle work and parenting on your own. You can communicate with these people and hash out the details of who’s going to do what and when, and then agree on it. Communication and a willingness to sacrifice and compromise are vital in making this work.

Get Great Childcare 
Good and reliable childcare is better than a thousand gold bars when you’re trying to juggle work and parenting. You thus have to do your research very well and find good daycare centers and nannies that you can trust to help look after your child in your absence. However, you should be sure to keep a watchful eye on them to be sure they are taking care of your child or children in the best possible way.

Put Things in Proper Perspective 
When managing work and parenting, you need to be able to put things in proper perspective. You should cut yourself some slack and try not to feel bad about having to leave your child or children all the time because in the end you are working to provide a better, easier and more comfortable life for your child or children. At this same time, you shouldn’t get carried away and use this as an excuse to be negligent. You must learn to balance the two sides and manage it as well as you can. Be away when you need to be, but be prepared to make sacrifices and compromises to be as present in your child’s life as possible. Make the effort.

Learn to Manage Your Commitments 
When you’re at work, you’re at work. Be focused on completing your work and doing it to the best of your ability. When you’re at home, be at home and be focused on being the best parent ever to your child. Don’t bring home your baggage or issues from work to and dump it on your children to deal with. Even if you can’t help but bring home your issues from work, never do it in a way that affects your children. Whenever you’re with your children, be committed to being with them, and let nothing else come in between. Manage your commitments.

Know Your Priorities 
You need to determine what comes first to you, your work or your children. When you know this, it will be easier for you to make decisions when the two ‘worlds’ occasionally clash. Know what’s most important to you, and let that guide your decisions during such tight periods. You don’t have to be with your child every minute for them to feel loved, but you need to know those few minutes that being with them matters most.

Remember Yourself 
A sick, exhausted or drained person can hardly be useful at the workplace and to their child or children. You, therefore, have to remember to take some time to rest and take care of yourself. This way you can continue to be there for your child or children and be productive at work. 

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‘No One Offered To Help’; Lagos man who survived accident

A freak accident which happened last week (June 22nd) after a car dived into the window of a residential building at Muritala Mohammed way, Adekunle Road in Yaba area of Lagos following a horrible accident with a shuttle bus. A passenger who sat in the front seat of the bus and escaped death with minor injuries – has decried the growing trend of people using their phones to record accidents rather than help the victims.

According to him, people who gathered at the scene of accident refused to help victims rather they resorted to using their phone to record the horrible accident which was posted online…

The passenger revealed that he had to pull the driver of the bus whose legs were stuck. Not nice.

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What You Need To Understand About Asking God To Make Things "Right"

There’s no one reading this article that doesn’t want our world to be delivered from evil, for creation to be set right. We want things in our lives made right, and we want things in our world made right. We want things made right for our friends and the people we care about. We want peace on this earth and we want people to be good to one another. In other words, we want the new earth and we want it now. But do we understand that we are part of the evil in this fallen world?

J.D. Greear encourages Christians to take a deeper look at what we’re asking when we ask God to make things right.

“…as much as we yearn for the world to embrace right-ness (which is all righteousness means), our own words and actions constantly betray God’s picture of rightness. We want God to deliver the world from evil, but the evil we want him to deliver us from is also inside ourselves.”

There are many people praying for a better world, for peace; yet they have not prayed for God to take hold of their own lives because they do not understand that they are part of the evil in this world.

Malachi 4:1-2 reveals;

“Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and the day that is coming will set them on fire,” says the LORD Almighty. “Not a root or a branch will be left to them. But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves.”

The people were waiting for a Messiah, but even after these words there were 400 years of silence. And when the Messiah did come, he was not what the people were expecting. God ushered in a righteousness that no one saw coming. Can you imagine if the story ended there in Malachi? Who would have been worthy without the Messiah?

The world is not comprised of innocents choosing good or evil for themselves; the world is comprised of sinners living a sinful existence in a fallen world…utterly unable to make themselves right before God. If God were to justly destroy all evil in the world, he would have to destroy us too. God knew this from the beginning, and he knew his Son would have to pay the price for sin…it was the only way we could be made worthy.

Though the religious teachers at the time of Jesus would have been familiar with messianic prophecies, they had it in their minds that this Messiah would usher in a new political kingdom—someone who would deliver them from outward oppression rather than inward oppression. But the Messiah didn’t come to make things right politically; he came to make us right with God.

The only way that we will not be destroyed along with all the evil and sin in the world is if we are separated from sin—so that it can have no claim on our lives. And the only way to be separated from sin, is to have him who knew no sin to take on our sin and claim it as his own paying the debt we owed and taking on God’s just wrath. By God’s grace this has already been done, once and for all at the cross. And this substitution of Christ’s life for ours, salvation, is offered to us freely. God desires that we would accept this gift and join his family forever. This true story is ultimately better and more amazing than any super hero movie we could ever come up with.

Greear states,

“Jesus absorbed the curse, taking upon himself the furnace of God’s wrath so he could be the healing Sun of Righteousness to us. His first followers didn’t expect it. His opponents wouldn’t accept it. But we all desperately needed it.”

We didn’t have a choice to be sinners or not…that choice was made with the first humans, but we do have a choice whether we remain marked by sin or whether we accept ultimate healing from the “Sun of righteousness.” The Son of God, Jesus our Messiah, is the only one who can remove the deep stain of sin from our lives. It is this rightness, righteousness freely offered, that we should cling to in this world.

Greear wisely concludes,

“God has solved the dilemma of our righteousness, but it is only ours if we grasp it for ourselves. If we cherish our sin, God’s righteousness will appear like the blazing heat of a furnace. If we repent of that sin and turn to God in desperation andfaith, then the only heat we will feel is the purifying fire of the Refiner(Malachi 3:3).”

Often in today’s society, it seems that we place more emphasis on being moralists than we do on being ambassadors of Christ. We like morals and we like the society they can give us, but morals won’t get us past sin’s gate. It’s not even morals + Christ…it’s just Christ! Christ + nothing else = redemption from sin. Next time you look at someone’s life and you see what appears to be a moral life, but you never hear them talk about Jesus, don’t let them slip away without a true understanding of what righteousness looks like before God. Righteousness only looks like one thing: Jesus standing in our place.

The problem with wanting God to make everything right, and the one thing we need to understand when we ask him is that we are part of the evil. Without Christ in our lives, God is just in sweeping us off the earth and throwing us into the furnace with the rest of evil. We must accept that nothing we do will earn us merit to have everlasting life with God; then we must accept what Jesus has already done for us, the grace and redemption that he freely offers. Only then can God grant us his righteousness that overrides sin’s hold.

(Matthew 10:32-33) – And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. …So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.

[written by Liz Kanoy, a Crosswalk editor]

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First Lady Calls For Arrest Of Policewoman Who Poured Hot Water On Maid

First lady of Ebonyi state, Rachael Umahi has called for the arrest of a policewoman, Joy Okoshi for reportedly pouring hot water on her 15-year-old househelp identified as Chinyere Igwe in Abakaliki, the state capital, after officials from her office and the State Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development rescued the girl from the policewoman’s home.

It was gathered that a hot pot of soup was emptied on Chinyere’s body, for not following her ‘madam’s’ instruction, before she also poured hot water on the poor girl.

Chinyere who spoke to newsmen, said she has been subjected to abuses from the woman for the past two years. Her words:

“I failed to follow her instruction and in anger, she came out and carried the pot of soup together with the egusi (melon) and threw at me and it landed on my back. She also carried iron and hit me on my body and ordered me to bend down and raise my leg up but I refused because my back was paining me seriously. She locked me up in a room while she went to boil water to pour on me. I pleaded with her to have mercy on me but she went inside and brought tear gas, then I started crying when she rushed to get hot water and poured on me. 

“Only my mother is alive and I have been living with my madam for over two years now. This is as a result of my father’s death coupled with my mother’s financial handicap. 

“Her husband also beat me up, but he was not aware that I had such injury because it was in the night. He later apologised and asked his wife to use honey to treat my back”.

Chief Press Secretary to the governor’s wife, Donatus Owo in a statement last Saturday said the victim is receiving treatment.

“The matter has been reported to the police while the victim was taken to Police Clinic for medical treatment.”

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Things Every Christian Should Do Before Heaven

Engage With Societal Outcasts

Interacting with disadvantaged segments of the population is an effective way to embrace some of Christ’s practices through your everyday life. In the Bible, there are instances where Christ ate with and otherwise associated with people who were thought of as societal outcasts.

The more you can get outside of your comfort zone, the easier it’ll be to continue Christ’s work on Earth by reaching out and making a positive impact. That’s especially true when others would rather ignore the very groups of people you’re willingly and lovingly serving.

Give A Public Testimony
Testifying about Christ’s influence can be scary, especially if you suspect your views about faith won’t be well received. However, it has to be done, especially since spreading the Gospel is one of our responsibilities as followers of Christ.

If your initial attempts to speak your testimony don’t go well, there’s no need to despair. Think of your testimony as something akin to planting seeds, meaning it may take a while for your words to bloom or be taken to heart.

Help Others Work Their Way through the Bible 
As a Christian, you probably read your Bible regularly, but may know some Christians who aren’t as familiar with the text and are perhaps too intimidated to even attempt to read it frequently. Consider taking time to read parts of the Bible with them and experience the many advantages of communal learning.

“Just remember: Even the most creative approach to reading the Bible is nothing compared to the realization that you are reading the words of God — out of everything he could have said to his sons and daughters, he chose these words, arranged in this way, using dozens of authors over thousands of years. That’s some motivation!” – Crosswalk Contributor Amy Green.

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Today’s Inspiring Bible Quote

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The Right Way To Handle Your Struggles

If you’re going through a tough time at this moment in your life, I pray that this post truly ministers to you and encourages you. I want to start by reassuring you that, “God is here.” Remember, His Word promises that He will never leave you, nor forsake you. So that means that He is with you in the struggle.

The reality of life (even for us as Christian women) is that hard times hit our lives. Think about it for a second. One day everything can be fine and the next day, we can find ourselves struggling with some issue, trial, illness, or sin that we need to overcome. As the new saying puts it, “The struggle is real!” Yet, how do we handle the struggles that strike our lives?

I believe that we have to handle them by going straight to the throne room of God through prayer and His Word. That may seem simple, but it truly is the way to jumpstart working through your struggles. Alongside that, you need the encouragement of others (like what I’m doing right now). These days, you can also request prayer through social media and if you’ve noticed, the body of Christ will step up all across the globe to pray for you.

But let’s back to the Word. Because I know that when struggles strike, honestly, the Word of God will be the most powerful thing that helps you get through when no one else is around. It will not only be life-giving, but life-strengthening. So hold onto it when you’re going through your struggles and allow it to work.

With that being said, I want to encourage you to search the Scriptures on whatever your struggle is that you’re dealing with right now and then meditate on them. In other words, do a Google search or search your Bible index for verses directly related to the problem you’re facing. Then place them on index cards or in your journal and read over them, speak them to yourself, and let God’s Word encourage and strengthen you.

For instance, if you’re going through any of these struggles below, grab these verses and begin allowing them to take root in your life to strengthen you. Here goes…

Fear – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” ~John 14:27

Illness – “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am the Lord your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

Trials – “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” ~James 1:12

Broken-hearted – “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” ~Psalm 34:18

Loss – “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” ~Matthew 5:4

Finances – “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:19

Tough Assignments – “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.” ~1 Corinthians 15:58

Sin – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” ~1 John 1:9

Wherever you are on this subject, know that God is with you in your struggles, sis. He is right there ready to help you in your time of need, reassurance, trouble, or deliverance. So talk to Him, and allow others to lift you up in prayer. But don’t forget about the powerful effect that comes straight to you through the Word of God. Let Him work and strengthen your faith and life. This is how to handle your struggles.

[written by Courtnaye Richard, she loves helping women grow in their walk with the Lord]

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